Category Archives: sacred spaces

Fear and the Trigger Stacking Unwind

Both horses and riders can carry a lot of fear that blocks the joy they could be having together. Traumatic experiences can set everyone back and rightfully so. We all go into protective mode when something bad happens. Sometimes we lose confidence, in our bodies, in the world around us, and in our horses.

When I was teaching a lot of liberty work clinics, many of the people who attended had either been bullied into being pushy with their horses by trainers, or they had gotten hurt by horses. When either of those or both of those things happen, a natural reaction is to draw into oneself and find something else to do; perhaps some other way to be with horses that’s not so stressful, or put them in the pasture and leave them, saying that horses don’t need to be ridden, they’re totally happy having minimal interaction with humans. That’s all fine and true to some extent, but there is so much that is not being addressed here. It may allow the person to remain in their comfort zone or create an even narrower one, in order to accommodate their fears. And the fact they can provide a pasture and freedom is huge and wonderful! But it doesn’t develop the relationship with the horse, and it doesn’t develop the part of themselves that can really listen to the horse. Bottom line – it is all fear-based, as is bullying types of training.

While working with horses, I must be conscious of so much around me, like on every plane and in every dimension. Even with all that consciousness, something may enter my zone or my horse’s zone and upset the apple cart.

We all know that – you have your horse “de-sensitized” to large trucks, bicycles, etc. but what about that odd machine that comes down the railroad tracks that makes a strange noise? Or the new silent electric bikes that make some noise that bothers some horses? The horse may be fine with some stimuli but really worried about others.

If you stay in the arena, you may not need to experience any of these things. But horses react to things happening in or around arenas too.

A cumulative event that happens to horses and humans is trigger stacking. One bad accident occurs, or one trainer mistreats the horse, but then another insult occurs. The frightened horse falls into a ditch on the trail. The frightened horse is forced to do something he’s terrified of, and it goes on like this, until he has a build up of tension under the hood so he becomes reactive to many more things than what started it. Horses who have endured repeated trauma may freeze, shut down or explode, the same responses that humans experience when they are the victims of repeated trauma. They may do a combination of these things. Horses may seem “bomb-proof” to some people because they’re shut down, but if you take them out of whatever ”comfort zone” they have, they may explode. This is because they are living in their sympathetic nervous system, their “flight/fright/freeze” mode. We want to embody treatment and exercises that bring the horse into the parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest and relaxation” mode.

I work with a gelding who has had some rough handling in his early years, and then spent years with relatively no training, rand highly reactive to noise, vibration, sudden movements: you name it. A lot had to change for him, which it did, in the form of a wonderful, quiet new owner and some slow, considerate training. We’re still working to defuse those stressful responses because, while he has worked through a lot, he was a victim of trigger stacking in his early years.

Bodywork – Bodywork was not always something this boy could tolerate, so it was done from a distance until I could get close, and until he got his special person. Fortunately, she was studying to become a bodyworker, which helped him immensely.

Liberty exercise and ground exercise – These activities have helped this horse’s state of mind immensely, before riding and even now, while he is a riding horse. A horse started with a frayed sense of worth needs this quiet building to bring him back to himself, to feel proud of himself. Horses can be happy with this form of interaction and so can people, because there is such rich communication available.

Riding – If the horse in question is able to be ridden, the process may be slow, but it should always be rewarding for the horse and human. Not pushing, rushing, or otherwise expecting something he isn’t able to give yet. At the same time, it’s still essential in all the work to create boundaries; no pulling or stepping on you, etc.

As there is so much cruel, hurried training or lack of training in the world of horses, more horses are coming to us with more trauma. A common method of training and part of some de-sensitizing, especially for non-compliant individuals, is to flood the horse’s space with scary objects, behaviors, sudden movements, which can completely overload the nervous system. Horses who twitch a lot or shy at a lot of things may have had this beginning. These horses need to be restarted in a quiet way, without the flooding or harsh treatment, and slow introduction to new things. It’s helpful to see what the new start exposes in terms of behaviors and fears.

Nearly every horse I work with currently has some level of trauma, or has worked through a lump of it. My rescue mare came to me some years ago carrying a lot of trauma, that was lodged in various cells in her body. She was enjoying her groundwork training and the people who were kind to her at the time, but there was an emotional sludge stuck here and there.

Once I could work with her each day, we could unravel it more effectively. I have worked with other horses who have had worse emotional sludge, and depending upon the facility of the owners, bodyworkers and trainers, they have been able to release it. I use a combination of bodywork and ground exercises to bring this about. Trauma is always part of the body, but the healing takes place only when we are able to stop reacting to it. I say reacting, because we will always respond, but it doesn’t have to be reaction. For most, it’s a series of gentle shifts, for some, it takes a lifetime. While we worked, the various triggers emerged and subsided and were no longer something she had to fixate on. As she goes through life, she will not be reactive unless provoked, she will remain calm and curious in her surroundings – as long as she has proper support.

And what does that support look like? Perhaps the most important thing that must be nurtured is mutual trust. When the horse sees her person as someone she can trust, then the nervous system can move from the high anxiety sympathetic nervous system  into what we call the parasympathetic mode.

How do we develop this trust?

One way is to always be a protector to your horse. When you have your horse’s back, then your horse will have yours. He knows he can trust you.

I believe horses know what we’re saying, perhaps not the words themselves, but the intention behind them. Some people have horses all their lives and never know how to build trust with them, as long as they can ride and get where they want to go. I consider that to be a major disconnect, a disservice to the animal, and a joy the owner is missing out on.

For those who are starting out with horses, the problem is often the same, as so many riding establishments have a disconnected view. Students learn the disconnect and feel guilty for having sensitive feelings about horses, for becoming fearful because they can’t feel safe, for not having the opportunity to develop trust as well as necessary boundaries.

I assess how well horse and human are doing with this by

  • Checking in with dimensions – our front/back, side/side, up/down dimensions.
  • How well does the horse recover from a scary event, i.e., a plastic tarp blowing, a fall, trailer accident? How well does the person recover, i.e., continue to recount the scary incident, unable to move forward, etc.? Some things take longer than others to recover from.
  • How well does the horse embrace gentle work, i.e. bodywork, groundwork?

So we come full circle to the fear that began this article – a fear that has every right to be there, but that doesn’t have to stay and burrow down and remain the basis for the way people interact with horses. Like everything good in life, it takes the time it takes to build the trust, unplug the trigger stacking and subsequent reactions, and move everybody involved to authentic, thoughtful responses and safety.

The Horse Who Stopped Eating

Horse health is such a broad topic, it cannot be limited to what we do in terms of providing hands-on bodywork, or diet or exercise. It also includes emotional, psychological and psychic health, activities to create communication and increase curiosity  and the way we ride.

In February, I conducted a Q&A session where one of the questions was about a horse who had stopped eating, and discussing what to do to get the horse eating again. The practitioner with the issue said the horse had just lost his owner and regular stablemates due to death. He had been moved to a new barn with new horses and people.

We were dealing with more than simple refusal to eat, though that can become complex in itself. We were dealing with a grief process. The answer to the question – what to do about a horse who stopped eating – took on another dimension, as the horse would need more emotional and psychic support in addition to basic dietary needs and bodywork to get the gut functioning properly.

The horse needed a bridge to his new life, where there are very good things available. He just can’t reach for them right now. A horse in this state can go unnoticed in traditional circumstances where people will focus on the lack of appetite but not think about or know how to address the grief.

What does this horse need? I ask myself.  He may shun connection, though bodywork, a simple laying on of hands, could be very helpful and give valuable information too. Grief makes the body tight and dry, flaky, unresponsive. To loosen up those areas – particularly around the heart – would help the horse feel better in himself, and lo and behold, he may eat.

Time spent just being with the horse can be invaluable. Maybe he can’t think of anything he wants to do, but you can do things for him. Show him things, talk to him, walk with him.

When we as humans are going through a grieving process, it’s sometimes hard to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard to talk to others. Imagine what that’s like for the horse. He doesn’t even have the distractions of bills that need paying or job concerns. If he has been left alone with no companions, it can be even more devastating.

It’s really up to us to set the tone as the horse is not very resourced at this time. If the owner is also grieving, he or she can be honest about the sadness felt, but be careful to remain soft and in memory mode of the lost loved one.

Just being, one of the hardest things for us to do, is probably the best thing you can do. Some horses really enjoy you talking to them, keeping up a conversation, perhaps recounting stories about the departed ones, if you knew the family. Some just want you there, grooming, taking care and talking about their specialness perhaps, bring them back into their bodies. Setting up situations to engage a horse’s curiosity, providing comfort, will all help that horse come around. Walks together are immensely helpful, especially if there are other animals in the neighborhood to visit.

Think in terms of what we all are as mammals – gut, brain, heart, and not necessarily in that order. There are more nerve cells in the gut than anywhere other than the brain. The nerve cells of the gut are part of the enteric nervous system, a separate nervous system that sends messages to the brain. It plays an important role in the emotional health in all of us.

Make sure the horse has companions. Not all horses grieve the same way. Some are sad but they are more able to go through their days as they have a more developed understanding of their stablemate or owners’ passing. That understanding can be supportive to the grieving horse.

This is why we look further than digestion and learn the rest of the story, or as much as we can. Sometimes the horse not eating can be a simple dietary change and sometimes it requires more research. Your ability to just be and bring out the presence in the horse will be key.

We are accustomed to extending condolences to bereaved human families. Grief is part of life, not a postscript, tacked on as “oh by the way, this person or horse lost his family.” It is the beginning, the jumping off place, for all else to happen going forward. It may feel that nothing is happening or changing for awhile, but gradually it will.

A Message for the New Year

Jazzie and Red together.

In October we lost my mare Jazzie, who was just shy of her 19th birthday. It has been emotionally tough to live without her huge presence in our lives. She is irreplaceable, and yet I draw some comfort knowing she is watching over us and will continue to be a powerful influence.

I adopted a young grade Arabian mare, whom I named Red (or she named herself), four years old. She came from a wonderful rehab and rescue center in Santa Fe, which provided a loving respite from previous traumatic  experiences.

Red isn’t a replacement, she is her own horse. She is young and curious about everything, and especially her interactions with humans and her training. She loves her training. What I’m seeing in her is that everything is an adventure. While her first years were fraught with uncertainty, fear and mistreatment, when she didn’t want anyone to catch or touch her, she has now landed somewhere where everyone listens to her and she wants to listen.

The loss of Jazzie and the introduction of Red are changing my teaching. I relied so heavily on Jazzie’s intelligence in terms of teaching; her sixth sense as far as knowing what a student needed to know, or even what was needed in a teaching video. Now I seek to find out what innate intelligence is available in the new herd. I come into awareness of their changing relationships, and how they relied on each other for certain strengths and roles. They have reorganized since Jazzie’s passing. They make it work.

The new configuration.

This experience with Red is also showing me the interface between training and bodywork. I can see that when Red doesn’t respond to something I want her to do, it has been when she has felt unable to do it. She has either frozen in place or felt her body imbalance stick her somewhere that makes it impossible to turn or lower her head, or turn to the right.

It has been a learning process for me, asking questions, where is she stuck, where is the brace in her body? And then going in and softening, loosening, however that looks. Some days have been all about that, softening, finding the connection in the body so it could ease its defensive posture. How many defensive postures could a young mare hold?

Red has come to the place where she can position her body where she wants me to work. This is something I love to see in horses I work with, as it demonstrates a recognition of what I can offer and their connection to it, at the same time, recognizing that they can use the stimulus given and self-correct.

Primarily with everything we’re doing, it takes the time it takes. If the resistance isn’t removed then there is nowhere to go, there is no pushing through it to the other side. If there is no physical resistance there may sometimes be emotional resistance because an avoidance habit was formed in the past or she was taught something that wasn’t useful. I need to manage my energy so as not fall into Red’s stuff, ask in the right way, to remind her of what she is capable of.

This is not a horse that you would put the traditional “30 days” on and then think all was good to go. Probably that doesn’t work for 99% of the horses out there, but given economics and the way people perceive training and horses, it’s a norm, though not a very sustainable one.

I’m seeing more bridges between bodywork and training. We work with the nervous system in each of these practices, if we do it right. Where the horse is excitable (flight/fright), we calm it. Where it is too sluggish (rest/relaxation), we enliven it.  With good work on the nervous system, a horse can usually self-regulate and not immediately go into high alert and react over everything.

I have been fortunate enough to have a few “horses of a lifetime,” not just one. Each one has different gifts and teaches me something new. When they feel comfortable in their home, they feel heard and seen, then they will show their gifts. Many horses go through life without showing their true gifts to people, because there are many people who won’t see the gifts even if hit in the face with them. Horses don’t “throw pearls before swine,” as the saying goes. Some of mine have been horses of a lifetime in spite of me and my agendas at the time. I listen better now. I’m not so driven.

What is the purpose of this message, you might ask? Is it about the new horse, mourning the loss of a deceased horse, training or bodywork?

It’s about everything. It’s about the changes that we make to accommodate the new, while mourning the loss of the old. It’s about the evolution of body and training, and how training is absorbed and perceived by each individual being.

I’m reminded of how Jazzie would raised her leg and made sure a student was holding it correctly and compressing into the perfect place that would initiate change for her. I will remember how she positioned herself so that the student or I would get the hint of where to work next. And her incredible intuition with bodywork in the saddle comes to me each time I climb in the saddle, creating a valuable change for both horse and rider.

Jazzie was very good at what she did; she was patient and impatient simultaneously, and perhaps so because on some level, she knew she didn’t have a long time on this earth. Humans needed to get it right quickly. Such a well-adjusted, sensible mare was valuable for those who were less well-adjusted and sensible and pure joy for everyone else.

I work with performance horses, race horses, horses in training, geriatric horses, injured horses, traumatized horses, pregnant mares and newborn foals, horses who are getting ready to pass from this world and those passed.  I work with the people who love them. They are all on different paths, at their own tempos.

With the dawning of the new year, I feel a shift in the work I do. I may work with deepening the links between people and horses, or bodywork as a more integral support for training. Very often what isn’t working for a horse isn’t working for the people either.

My wish is that you will deepen your experience in 2023, either on your own, in practice, with or without horses, or in classes. Whatever moves you. This quiet, cold time of winter (and not for those in the southern hemisphere, of course!) is open to introspection and weaving together a new beginning, not a replacement for what was, but a lengthening of “being” into the coming months.

Meditation for a New Year

As I have received so many Happy New Year messages from so many, I feel compelled to write one too. There is an eagerness, a hopefulness that this year will be better than the last. New year’s resolutions are made and discarded at the first temptation to do otherwise. Perhaps because they put more expectations on us.

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come,

Whispering ‘it will be happier’.” Alfred Lord Tennyson

So maybe we talk about something else – how it’s possible to reach out to people and animals across the planet, not just in our backyard? That while in some parts of the world you might be snowed in or otherwise unable to go minister to somebody who needs it, you can send a message. Not just ‘I’m thinking of you, hearts and prayers,’ but a message from my heart to yours.  They may live five thousand miles away. Or if the body is not responding well at all, how about just sitting with the person or animal, being with them? If you can’t sit still for whatever reason, do something.

One morning recently I could not take care of someone’s animal physically, and so I decided to make bread. I decided then to make the bread in honor of that animal, and lo and behold the animal got up and started moving. In a way, taking the pressure off, just doing stuff, may have made a difference.

The message sent does not carry any baggage; it’s not a pushing or moving of energy, it’s  just an inquiry, or a sitting with a situation, not influencing a particular outcome.

With one animal I worked with at distance over the holidays, at first she couldn’t bear my making contact. I said in that case, I’ll just be over here, and sit with you but not too close. After that, she began to inch closer and began to share herself. It was completely her decision.

How do we work without expectation to embody a sense of well-being in ourselves and others?

A way to begin this may be as follows:

Hold a meditation for the new year. I strongly suggest getting comfortable, with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee.

Begin with the body, your body and include your animal bodies. Begin with the space between the big and next toe and just hold it and see what you feel. Do you feel a connection to another part of you? Does it hold a memory? If so, just remember that but move on to another part – the lower leg, the knee, the hips, the buttocks. Some of these areas may hold a memory of pain, a surgery, a fall. If you feel you’re getting plugged up there for some reason, or the body doesn’t want you there, leave it and move on up the body. If you’re working with an animal at the same time, the animal may have areas it feels at the same time as you, or different ones that pull at you, areas it wants to avoid or becomes sad with upon contact.

So acknowledge those sensitive areas and move on. Move on to the midsection, remember you pass through various chakras at the same time, where different energies are held. You don’t have to identify those now, you can simply know that you have a root chakra, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown. At any one of those places along the midline and the band surrounding it laterally on both sides (heart will include shoulders, for example), you may hold energies of either good or bad things. Just the recognition may bring a certain peace. If it doesn’t, move on to a new location.

You can hold your hands upturned at your sides and feel warmth grow in your hands. These are the hands that can touch or simply hold energy for others, and for yourself.

Moving up through the heart area – what do you feel? During this colder season, sometimes the chest area becomes compressed, warding off cold, and the heart becomes squashed in there. It needs room to feel everything it can feel.

Then move further up to the throat, the third eye above your eyebrows, and crown at the center of the top of your head.

Check now and see what parts of you feel lit up, alive. Which are they? Connect one of them to an area that doesn’t feel so alive or is in pain or emotional turmoil, and see what happens.

Sometimes just gently cupping the face area can relax the tension collected by frowns, tense jaws, concentration, worries. Once recognized, you may move to a place of seeing differently, quietly, letting peace drape around you like a soft blanket.

To come out of the meditation when ready, retrace your journey from head to feet, slowly, checking in with each area. See how it feels. Is there still tension or disturbance there or has it gone? Is a painful place less troubled? Does another area call you? Check with your animals as you retrace the journey with them.

In this small meditation, your body and/or your animal’s body gets to have a voice. It is given space to move and decide, or not.

This is what I want for my new year – to enter a realm of possibility for healing without a list of expectations.

 

Horses Take the World Stage

The Tokyo Olympics 2021 pentathlon event, which involves participants who are proficient in fencing, freestyle swimming, equestrian show jumping, pistol shooting and cross-country running, resulted in mishaps and angry, abusive people at the equestrian segment. Why is that?

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The course, up to 1.20 m, flooded the equine and other media, and some Olympic medalists say that the reason the horses balked at jumps, reared, and dumped their riders in the competition was because they only had 20 minutes to “get to know” their riders before performing. These are horses that are well schooled, provided especially for this event and riders select horses from a random draw. The people riding are also not necessarily good riders – one article said that some don’t even know how to do a rising trot! They may be excellent at swimming, fencing, pistol shooting, but not at the riding part, which would then indicate that they can’t manage a horse well under normal circumstances but particularly when it goes into stress mode.

The whole event is stressful, let’s face it. That horses can and do perform under such conditions is quite phenomenal.

Horses don’t think as humans do. The coach who punched a horse and instructed her rider to whip the horse was obviously completely out of line, pulled along by anger and frustration. While the horse napped, the rider was seen hitting and kicking the horse. As he neared the fence, the coach leaned over and struck him with her fist. The horse wasn’t doing well physically to begin with or he wouldn’t have been trying to sleep.

Many complained about horses’ performance overall. Other horses resisted the jumps too. But the horse is always right. So whatever was going on here started with the humans and their lack of understanding and concern for the horses’ needs.

Basically the absence of a relationship built with the horse over a longer period of time, plus disregard for the horse and rider’s mental well being, contributed to the breakdown in the first place. Physical violence added to that created chaos, and that chaos rippled through the horsie-verse like a bolt of lightning. Shared consciousness. We’re outta here. The horses bonded in a universally panicked response. Some held their ground and did okay. But too many horses who weren’t smacked around responded with resistance and fear.

Once that chaos and fear zoomed through the other horses, they reverted to their herd instinct. I have a mental image of them all running from the arena together. That didn’t happen of course because there is a cast of thousands in that arena managing the horses.

These are horses who have no relationship with their riders. They are ridden by many different riders in preparation for this event and considered “schoolmasters.” But to go through an event at this high level of stress, they need the relationship. When things get scary it’s not enough to simply know how to ride, you need to know the way that animal thinks, moves, it’s preferences, what frightens it, know it deep down so that you can set up the best possible outcome. If introducing a horse to new things, it’s best if he has a familiar, much loved person to help him or her through it all.

Horses don’t think like humans, they don’t have a pre-frontal cortex like we do, so we can figure out how to pay bills and how to write articles about horses, etc. But what they do have is a motor cortex, and the motor cortex allows them to learn patterns and behaviors. They learn good ones just as easily as bad ones. They have the ability to form deep relationships. But they are going to operate instinctively if frightened, and in some cases forget everything they know in an instant.

They will be able to recover from upset much easier if they and their person are bonded, fused in a way that may not be visible to the outside casual observer. When I watched some of the really bonded Olympic pairs, such as Charlotte DeJardin and her new horse, I feel that they enjoy each other. Some others are operating on automatic.

This is not to say that all horses need their special person all the time. There are some people who can come into the presence of a horse they don’t know and the horse is immediately comforted and there is no question. The horse wants an immediate bond, without the preparation of years. Some trainers have this ability to infuse confidence in a horse right away. Even in these cases, the riding relationship is different than the on-the-ground relationship. The horse may not want the person he has just met to climb on his back, in spite of feeling happy in their presence.

I have ridden horses on endurance rides whom I didn’t know, but was fortunate enough to ride them the night before, brush and play with them a little bit, and everything turned out alright. I was also riding alongside the owner so she could advise me as to how to manage her, her preferences, how much contact, etc. I was acutely aware of how the horse moved differently from my own, and but relied on my general knowledge for that part of the journey. By the end of the ride, I always wanted to buy the horse (not for sale!), because we had had such a great time together.

Keep in mind this is over 50 or so miles, about 6-10 hours in the saddle, not a short stint in an Olympic arena that involves maybe 5-10 minutes of connection! Plus the stress level is way down on the meter. We were riding to win a t-shirt, not an Olympic gold medal.

I’m so glad to hear that the German Olympic federation has called for a rule change to address the excessive demands on the horse-rider teams.

The fact that so many horses lost their cookies at this event affirms their strength in numbers, their wonderful herd instinct that can sometimes  get them into trouble. They also exposed some human cruelty and ego. In this case, horses took the world stage, if not the medals. Well done, horses!

 

Horse Loss and Love

It’s a rainy day as I write this. A rainy day in New Mexico is generally cause for celebration. The state squeaks out 13.85 inches average rainfall per year.

Continue reading Horse Loss and Love

The spectrum for horse and human

There is a spectrum from 0 – 100+ or maybe more in terms of engagement and levels of interaction for horse and human.

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Oliver takes a really long time to come over to Tina to get treats.

Continue reading The spectrum for horse and human

What is your horse’s self worth?

My mare Zuzka recently showed me something while I was riding my mare Jazzie in the arena. She looked directly at me and proceeded to wrap a lead rope that was hanging from a halter on the fence, around her neck. It was as if to say, “take me out for a ride.”

Continue reading What is your horse’s self worth?

Do you have your horse’s vote?

What if, every presidential hopeful had to go into the corral with a few horses? America could stand outside the corral and tally up the results. Which types of horses would gravitate to what people? Would some candidates be left off to the side?

Continue reading Do you have your horse’s vote?

Creating sacred spaces with horses

I moved my horses recently, and I took the gravestone I’d had made for my departed gelding Khami with us. I was concerned that we would have to create a new sacred space at the new location, because the horses would no longer have Khami’s grave to roll on. A few days before the move I went out to the grave and it had rained hard so the center was squishy, smooth mud that took on the appearance of the surface of peanut butter upon opening a new jar. One of the horses had walked around the mud center, hoofprints marking the perimeter of the grave. (originally published November 20, 2015)

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